Attention, attention: Psychobabble is having a hop tonight,
and you and yours are invited. So grease up your D.A. and pull on your boogie
shoes. Those soles are gonna get a real work out because we’ve lined up the
hottest rockers, hippest jazzbos, and wailingest blues bruisers to make you
flip your lid. Get ready to jive and jump to…
100. “Dim, Dim the
Lights (I Want Some Atmosphere)” by Bill Haley & His Comets
The party starts now, so let’s get this shack together,
Daddy-O! Nail down the furniture, snap the lock off the liquor cabinet, and for
christ’s sake, dim, dim those damn lights… I want some atmosphere. Bill Haley
eases us in with one of his smoothest unions of rock and swing, but don’t
worry, things are about to get crazy, man, crazy.
Seriously crazy, because now that the atmosphere is set,
we’re all gonna shimmy out of our drapes and creepers, get out our
switch-blades, and strip ourselves right out of our skins so we can let our
bones jangle ‘round the room like little Ronnie Dawson wants us to. If you
can’t handle that, this ain’t the party for you. Try the church social down the
block, Melvin!
98. “Why Do Fools
Fall in Love?” by Frankie Lymon & The Teenagers
Frankie was just thirteen, but there are decades of wisdom
in his plea to understand the absurdity and cruelty of love. Listen to the ache
in a voice that was barely even familiar with the absurdity and cruelty of
puberty.
97. “Down Bound Train”
by Chuck Berry
Now back away from the horrors of love and get on board a
vehicle of very different horrors. Zoom down to the hot place on a train
populated with miscreants of all varieties. Chuck Berry makes this early
example of horror rock a veritable tone poem with a ghostly echo that will
chill you to your rockin’ bones. Enjoy it; it’s the last chill you’re going to
get for a while, because your sweltering destination lies dead ahead.
96. “Young Man Blues”
by Mose Allison
We continue to cool out while we dump the whiskey out of our
mugs and fill ’em up with coffee, kick our heels onto the tables, and
contemplate the woes of young men everywhere who can’t make a buck while the
geezers rake it in with both hands. Mose Allison’s smirking delivery let’s us
know it isn’t all bad though…
95. “King Kong”
by Big ‘T’ Tyler
…yeah, it could be a lot worse. We could be getting carried
up the Empire State Building by a giant, randy ape. Things don’t get much
badder and bigger than nasty old King Kong, and Big ‘T’ Tyler pays tribute to
the king of beasts with a voice just as bad and big.
94. “(Now and Then
There’s) A Fool Such As I” by Elvis Presley
Right before Elvis went into the Army, he cut a few numbers
to keep him in the public ear while he was marching up and down Fort Hood and
peeling potatoes. Maybe his feelings about his military fate inform a
performance ripe with pleading emotion. Maybe he was juts a consummate pro.
93. “Race with the
Devil” by Gene Vincent & The Blue Caps
A few spots back on this list, Chuck Berry was ushering a
bunch of doomed losers onto a train to Hell. Gene Vincent isn’t going so easily
though. He and his Blue Caps pop into their Rock-a-Billy hot rod, slam the gas,
and commence a race to out pace Old Scratch. Who wins: Gene or the Devil? I’m
not really sure. I just know that we win whenever this rocker blasts its fumes off
the turntable.
92. “Little Demon”
by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins
Chuck and Gene aren’t the only ones who know a life of
rocking leads to Hell, but how much empathy do they have for the demons who
dance down there? Not as much as Screamin’ Jay Hawkins, who knows little demons
feel pain too and have to blow off steam by turning the sky green, turning the
grass red, and putting pretty hair on Grandma’s bald head. I don’t know why
that is demonic, but I do know that Jay’s mush-mouthed mumbling sends me into a
frenzy.
91. “Blueberry Hill”
by Fats Domino
Time to stop drooling with Jay and time to start strolling
with Fats. He brings the mood in the room down, but everyone stays riveted
around the piano in the presence of a master.
90. “Take Five”
by The Dave Brubeck Quartet
Back in the coffee nook, some hep cats are tightening up in
5/4 time and simmering like the French roast everyone in the room is guzzling.
Bill Haley wanted to dim the lights and get some atmosphere going. There’s no better
way to get atmosphere than putting on “Take Five”…
89. “Milk Cow Blues”
by Elvis Presley
…but then Elvis busts in the room, flips on all the lights,
and tells us it’s time to get real-real gone. And that he does as he whoops and
wails his way through one of his hottest Sun sessions. Milk it!
88. “Whole Lotta
Shakin’ Goin’ On” by Jerry Lee Lewis
What’s that rumble under your feet? Feels like the Earth is
splitting open beneath those saddle shoes, Elinor Donahue. Naw, that’s just
Jerry Lee on top of the keys, pounding with his fists, letting his greasy
tendrils sway in front of his eyes like the windshield wipers on a ’57 Chevy.
Everything’s shaking, even the chickens in the barn. Who’s barn. What barn? My
barn.
87. “Fujiyama Mama”
by Wanda Jackson
We just averted natural disaster, but we’re not in the clear
yet, because Wanda Jackson is a one-woman volcano, and when she starts
erupting, no one’s gonna make her stop. She’s clearly out of control, so maybe
we could forgive the total insensitivity of “Fujiyama Mama” (“I’ve been to
Nagasaki, Hiroshima too. The same I did to them, baby, I can do to you”… oof).
Maybe not. One thing’s for sure; you do not want to mess with Wanda.
86. “Charlie Brown”
by The Coasters
Speaking of messes, there isn’t anyone on this list messier
than class lummox Charlie Brown. He’s the goon always occupying the back chair
in detention, always in dutch with the English teacher for calling him
“Daddy-O.” Poor Charlie doesn’t even understand why he’s always in trouble. His
loss is everyone else’s gain as we swing around the room to that stomping beat
and yakety sax.
85. “She Said Yeah”
by Larry Williams
Charlie Brown can’t get a break, but Larry Williams is lucky
to the marrow. He spots the girl of his dreams and tells her he wants to make
love to her. Does she slap him across the kisser? Nope. She says, “Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, I wanna make love to you too!” Everything’s coming up shamrocks.
The fact that this song moved the Stones to record the greatest cover of their
career is extra lucky.
84. “Bird Dog” by
The Everly Brothers
A lot of people associate The Everly Brothers with angelic
harmonies rather than Larry Williams-style raunch. Those people need to get
their minds off of “All I Have to Do Is Dream” and onto “Bird Dog”. Phil and
Don sneer and drawl and whip their acoustics into a maelstrom that certainly
swept Pete Townshend’s imagination into its thrall.
83. “Chicken Grabber”
by The Nite Hawks
But how about one from the bird dog’s pov? Think about your
response, because you may not be ready for this filthy thing from The Nite
Hawks, a track that manages to be as dirty as a stag flick with nothing more
than the grunts of “Here chick chick” and the sounds of an agitated hen. Word
from the bird.
82. “Rockin’ in the
Graveyard” by Jackie Morningstar
From the porno hen house to the graveyard: a host of
cackling ghosts come vividly rising from the ground over Jackie Morningstar’s
mid-paced chug. A lot of fifties parents were scared of Rock & Roll. I’m
sure “Rockin’ in the Graveyard” would have scared them in a totally different
way.
81. “Rebel-Rouser”
by Duanne Eddy
If “Rockin’ in the Graveyard” is a Rock & Roll horror
movie then “Rebel-Rouser” is a Western for greasers and J.D.s. Duanne Eddy’s ropey
twang—so low, lots of people mistook him for a bass player—is a lasso wrapping
around asses and dragging them to the dance floor.
80. “Red Hot” by
Billy Riley & His Little Green Men
The sentiment and haranguing tone of playground taunts make
“Red Hot” a big thumb in the eye of any cat who thinks his gal is the most.
Apparently, she ain’t doodly squat, because Billy Riley’s possesses such
special traits as the ability to walk all night and talk all day. Considering
the fifties tendency to subordinate women, one must admire Billy for
celebrating the fact that his woman will always have her way, but the fact that
he also digs how she spreads his personal business all over town reveals a real
masochistic streak.
79. “Breathless”
by Jerry Lee Lewis
Jerry Lee Lewis makes a two-syllable word into a
three-syllable one, and I can’t imagine anyone saying “breathless” the old way
ever again. He really sounds like he has ants in his pleated pants on this one.
78. “Wake Up Little
Susie” by The Everly Brothers
Parents were terrified that the libidinous drive of Rock
& Roll was going to transform their sweet little Larry Talbots into a pack
of drooling, fornicating Wolf Men (and, of course, Wolf Women). Poor Susie and
her beau knew this all too well, because when they woke up after a long night
of conversing, the kids knew what everyone would think. Phil and Don sweat out
the kids’ plight over a tune catchy as crabs and rolling as a game of back seat
bingo.
77. “Blue Rondo a La
Turk” by The Dave Brubeck Quartet
When we last left The Dave Brubeck Quartet, they were
lounging around and sipping coffee. But now the caffeine has kicked in, and
they skitter all over the rhythm. “Blue Rondo a La Turk” seesaws between
jittery riffs and the lazy lounge of “Take Five”. It’s the best of both jazzy
worlds.
76. “Please, Please,
Please” by James Brown
Now everyone clears the dance floor, because you’ll only
look like a fool when the king of shimmying does his thing. Not that James
Brown is going to be in the mood to shimmy when he starts begging, pleading,
and falling to his knees, screaming “please, please, please don’t go.” Just
toss a cape over his shoulders. He’ll be fine.
75. “Sea of Love”
by Phil Philips
Some fairly angry-sounding bass “bom-bomming” leads into
Phil Phillips crooning the words every love struck teen wants to hear (well,
maybe not the thing about being his pet. That’s a little insulting). “Sea of
Love” swoons and sways likes the woozy waves on the sea.
74. “Money (That’s
What I Want)” by Barrett Strong
We all know that this is where Motown began, but is it also
the beginning of heavy metal? Just imagine John Bonham pounding out that beat.
Imagine Jimmy Page and John Paul John slamming that riff in unison. Imagine
Robert Plant wailing that rather anti-romantic message about raking in the long
green. On second thought, fuck that. All you have to do is hear Barrett Strong
and the Motown crew do it as it is and “Money” is already heavy as a handful of
anvils.
73. “Hippy Hippy
Shake” by Chan Romero
If “Money” is proto-metal, then “Hippy Hippy Shake” must be
proto-Mersey Beat, and it’s no wonder why The Beatles jumped on its mop-top
shaking boogie in their early sets. But even the Fabs didn’t sound as giddy as
Chan Romero when he whoo-ed and giggled his way through the original.
72. “Willie and the
Hand Jive” by The Johnny Otis Show
Johnny Otis borrows that Diddley beat and no one can resist
clapping, shaking, and jiving along to a heap of nonsense about the viral desire
to dance with one’s hands.
71. “Claudette”
by The Everly Brothers
Roy Orbison brings the tune and The Everly Brothers supply
the voices and guitars. Somehow The Everlys’ tight harmonies manage to keep up
with those manic acoustic guitars.
70. “Jim Dandy”
by LaVern Baker
Let the squares have Superman. When you’re really in trouble,
it’s Jim Dandy to the rescue, though the real heroes are mighty belter LaVern
Baker and sax-blower Sam “The Man” Taylor.
69. “Diddley Daddy”
by Bo Diddley
Bo Diddley didn’t do anything better than telling you how boss
Bo Diddley is and proving it with the funkiest groove this side of the
Mississipi. On “Diddley Daddy” he loses his trademark Afro-Cuban beat for a
slick shuffle but does not lose an iota of his powers to awe.
68. “My Blue Heaven”
by Fats Domino
Over in N.O., Fats Domino is propping up an ancient standard
from atop his thumping piano bench. Gene Austin was the first to have a smash
with Donaldson and Whiting’s chestnut, but Fats is the man who made it roll out
of control.
67. “Down the Line”
by Buddy Holly
This demo was one of the earliest things Buddy Holly
recorded, but it didn’t get in shape until The Fireballs dubbed on the full
arrangement in 1964. Had they done so in ’54 it might have still gone
unreleased because it was just so, so wild. The sweet-faced pop craftsman never
sounded so punk.
66. “Rock Billy
Boogie” by Johnny Burnette
Man, did Johnny Burnette sound mean. His meanness can be heard in his grungy guitar plucking even
before his threatening voice enters. All he’s singing about is doing a dance,
but his song feels more like a punch in the face followed by another punch in
the face.
65. “The Happy Organ”
by Dave “Baby” Cortez
Dave “Baby” Cortez sounds almost as out of control as Johnny
Burnette, but Dave’s crazy on happy. Try eating four dozen pixie sticks before
taking a ride on the Tea Cups at Disneyland. That would be the most accurate
physical approximation of the sound of “The Happy Organ”… at least before the
vomiting starts.
64. “Ooby Dooby”
by Roy Orbison & The Teen Kings
Before he was pulling teens’ hearts out right through their
throats, Roy Orbison was getting downright goofy, doing the ooby dooby in his
impenetrable shades all over the dance floor. This isn’t your typical Roy-O,
but you cannot deny the man could Rock and Roll.
63. “Harbor Lights”
by Elvis Presley
OK, we’ve been having a real good time, but it’s time to get
off those boogie shoes and take a breather outside. Watch the ships roll in on
the darkened sea. See the lights just barely detectable in the
distance…certainly not close enough to disturb the perfect peace or darkness of
Elvis’s croon. Beautiful and cool as an ocean breeze.
62. “Raw-Hide” by
Link Wray & The Wraymen
That’s enough sitting around. It’s time to get nuts again,
and there won’t be a single ass on a seat when Link Wray’s guitar rips through
the fabric of our brains. Spontaneous head banging ensues. Good thing “Raw
Hide” is only two minutes because you’d be libel to get whiplash if it went on
another second.
61. “Rockin’ This
Joint To-Nite” by Kid Thomas
Jesus…even Link doesn’t get this crazy. The plaster rains
off the walls and ceiling of our party shack as Kid Thomas drives it home at
speeds Buck Baker never dared take. A lot of the songs on this list could be
called proto-punk, but “Rockin’ This Joint To-Nite” is the only one that could
be called proto-hardcore.
60. “Heartbeat”
by Buddy Holly
But if speed and insanity are not your thing, feel free to
cozy up to your gal or guy and let your hearts do the pounding. They surely
will when you give yourself over to the Latin rhythms Buddy Holly swirls out on
“Heartbeat”. That tremelo bend that begins the simple yet perfecto guitar solo
sounds the way my knees feel when I hear this song.
59. “Wear My Ring
Around Your Neck” by Elvis Presley
Elvis had lost the brutality of his great Sun singles by the
time he cut this track in 1958. He’d replaced his roughness with good humor,
and he sounds like he’s having some damn good fun on “Wear My Ring Around Your
Neck”. That climbing bass line in the intro is a real wise ass too.
58. “Almost Grown”
by Chuck Berry
Chuck Berry wasn’t just a great guitar player and
storyteller, he was a great actor too. Listen to how he adopts the whine of a
put-upon teen in “Almost Grown”. OK, so things like being put-upon and whining
might not be what you want from your joyous Rock & Roll, but there’s enough
joy from the back up singers—which include Etta James and Marvin Gaye!—to
sweeten Chuck’s bellyaching.
57. “Tequila” by
The Champs
It’s raunchy! It’s campy! It makes Pee Wee Herman do the Pee
Wee Herman! “Tequila” is too great to get tainted by overplaying. Dig how Danny
Flores’s sax starts screeching with grit in its teeth on the repeat. Dig Buddy
Bruce’s syncopated picking that makes the track wiggle.
56. “Mona” by Bo
Diddley
Bo Diddley does his thing while floating in space. It’s all
so echoy and dreamy…a touch of psychedelia before acid entered the pop
bloodstream. Even Bo’s more aggressive flourishes can’t sour a really good
trip.
55. “Rumble” by Link
Wray & The Wraymen
Brooding and sullen, “Rumble” expresses everything about the
bad kid puffing Luckys at the back of the room without needing a single word.
Link Wray’s chords are so simple they shouldn’t be able to carry an
instrumental. Obviously, though, they do. And I love it when he starts playing
submerged in the bathtub during the final thirty seconds!
54. “Words of Love”
by Buddy Holly
Fifties Rock & Roll tends to chug, pound, bounce, and
brawl. We don’t generally think of it jangling until The Beatles helped
twelve-string Rickenbackers fly off music-shop shelves in the mid-sixties. So,
as he often was, Buddy Holly was ahead of his times when he recorded “Words of
Love”. A fine cover by the expected suspects naturally followed in 1964.
53. “At the Hop”
by Danny and The Juniors
Maybe when you think of “At the Hop” you think of the
corniest fifties oldies crap that Joanie and Potsy ever swung to. Listen with
fresh ears, Fonz, because this track is some hard-driving shit. That intense
beat doesn’t let up once. Even Danny sounds like he’s having trouble keeping up
in the last verse.
52. “Shakin’ All Over”
by Johnny Kidd & The Pirates
In the fifties, British Rock & Roll was usually a weedy
imitation of the authentic rawhide spooling out of America. One massive
exception was “Shakin’ All Over”, a bluesy, cranky shimmy by one of R&R’s
first power trios.
51. “The World Is
Waiting for the Sunrise” by Les Paul and Mary Ford
What oh what did guitarists do before Rock & Roll? They
bowed down to Les Paul, that’s what. He recorded his own picking like it was a
tiny UFO zipping beyond Mars. Les recorded Mary Ford’s white-bread voice too
spookily for it to be square.
50. “Crawlin’
Kingsnake” by John Lee Hooker
Back on Earth, John Lee Hooker is out back, keeping beat
with his right foot, bending strings with his left hand, hunched over his
guitar, whispering so softly you could almost miss how mean he is. How mean?
Mean as a crawlin’ king snake. Those who can’t handle that head back into the bash,
but things ain’t exactly easing up in there either.
49. “Baby, Please
Don’t Go” by Muddy Waters
Halfway though this party and the sweat really starts
dripping from the walls. Everyone’s crowded shoulder to shoulder and hip to hip.
Muddy Water is center-stage grinning down on the hedonistic scene he’s created.
A year before the official launch of Rock & Roll and everyone is rocking
and rolling already.
48. “Peggy Sue”
by Buddy Holly
Kids too scared to get on roller coasters could find a
pretty good substitute in “Peggy Sue”. The rhythm rolls all over the track, goes
through the loop-de-loop. The reverb clips on and off and Buddy gets real into
doing his hiccupping shtick. The simplest guitar solo in guitar solo history
busts out like a guy plummeting out of his roller coaster car while it goes
through the loop-de-loop.
47. “Rock Island Line”
by Johnny Cash
Everybody did it, including such formidable folks as Lead
Belly, Lonnie Donegan, and Odetta, but nobody rode the Rock Island Line with
more steam than Johnny Cash. He wails at top speed, and stops so short you can
just picture him slamming into the side of a rock cliff wall like Wile E.
Coyote. Action packed.
46. “Come Softly to
Me” by The Fleetwoods
Too much action for you? Then maybe it’s time for you to put
on your footy pajamas and cuddle under that grinning old moon while The Fleetwoods
sing you to sleep. The most soothing mood music also has an insistently rolling
rhythm that will really affect your dreams.
45. “Tweedlee Dee”
by LaVern Baker
For a peppier insistent rhythm, you can do no better than
“Tweedlee Dee”. LaVern Baker and her tweetering back up singers sound like a
line of robins rocking around the forest. If they don’t charm you to your core,
your core is probably full of shit.
44. “Stagger Lee”
by Lloyd Price
Was he a folk hero or villain? The real Stagger Lee— “Stack Lee”
Shelton— has been both to different people and different interpreters. Lloyd
Price seems to opt for the latter, the totally committed empathy in his voice
speaking the part of Billy Lyons, who got the bad end of Stagger’s bullet. The
backing vocalists seem to opt for the former as they impel “Go, Stagger Lee!”
That push-and-pull makes for one powerful piece of R&B.
43. “C’Mon Everybody”
by Eddie Cochran
Don’t let tales of murder get you down, though. If Billy’s
sad fate stomped on your mood a little, just listen to Eddie. He is determined
to swing all night, and he doesn’t even care if it costs him a week or two of
movie privileges. Hear that slapping beat, and you’ll know just why.
42. “Gone” by
Miles Davis
As a whole, Miles Davis and Gil Evans’s rendition of Porgy
and Bess evokes July days so sweltering you can barely peel your ass off the
patio chair. Everything springs to life on “Gone”. The mosquitoes start
jumping. The sprinklers spring on. Miles and his band run through a descending
riff and get loonier with each pass. If every summer day were like this, I
wouldn’t hate summer so much.
41. “I Just Want to
Make Love to You” by Muddy Waters
Then the mood slackens again as it gets hotter and hotter.
The musicians slow to a slither. Muddy Water lays out his plans for you. You
barely have the energy to stand, but you’re still intrigued. The man’s powers
of seduction are legendary…
40. “Dimples” by
John Lee Hooker
..but Muddy has some competition. John Lee picks up the
tempo and doesn’t come on so hard. He doesn’t need to make love to you. He’s
just happy to watch you walk. No major pressure there. But if you can contain
yourself to walking, you may not be listening very closely, because that beat
is made for shaking.
39. “Sleep Walk”
by Santo & Johnny
Oops! Looks like you shook too hard! Suddenly, you fall into
a narcoleptic trance, but you’re not out off your feet. You stroll around the
room to the swaying rhythm, transported on Santo’s cloud of Hawaiian slide
guitar. It’s so lovely, you considering not waking up…
38. “Bony Moronie”
by Larry Williams
…but Larry Williams is having none of that. Get up and
wiggle around like a stick of macaroni! Try to stop yourself… that riff will
wag your ass for you.
37. “I’m Ready”
by Muddy Waters
Aww, there’s one in every crowd. Just as the mood looks up
and the dancing gets hot, some dynamite-smoking, ginned-up blow hard starts
cruisin’ for a bruisin’. His fists are bunched up and he wants to use them. Oh
wait…that someone is Muddy Waters. Better back off. He is one big cat.
36. “Beautiful
Delilah” by Chuck Berry
Chuck Berry came to the party with Rebecca, but as soon as
he eyeballs Delilah across the room, he rockets into a horn-dog froth with just
one thing on his mind. How did he articulate the words to this jumping rocker
so well with his tongue hanging out further than the Tex Avery wolf’s?
35. “Diddy Wah Diddy”
by Bo Diddley
A location (neither town nor city) with a name sillier than
a Tom and Jerry cartoon. A blues riff thwacking harder than Jerry whacking Tom
with a frying pan. Bo Diddley brings humor and muscle like no one else. Don’t
dare laugh when you hear where his girlfriend comes from.
34. “Raining in My
Heart” by Buddy Holly
The Beatles got a lot of praise for experimenting with
complex string arrangements complete with blue-note flourishes in 1965. Buddy
was already doing that shit in 1958 when he recorded Felice Bryant and
Boudleaux Bryant’s picturesque “Raining in My Heart”. Listen to how Dick
Jacobs’s pizzicato arrangement sounds like drops falling from the sky. Let the
drops fall from you eyes as you ponder what we lost when Buddy lost the ability
to continue developing his experimental streak.
33. “Havana Moon”
by Chuck Berry
The rain lets up. The moon comes out. Chuck Berry floats on
Caribbean waters with a jug of rum and a cod Jamaican inflection. A simple mood
piece that captures a simple mood with dreamy perfection.
32. “I Walk the Line”
by Johnny Cash
Over by the trees there’s a moonshined outsider watching the
party, keeping his distance. He knows himself well enough to understand that he
could easily slip off that line he walks and into pure evil. He broods and
moans, all dressed in black, blending in with the night. His voice gets lower,
more menacing with each repeat. Take a careful step back to safety…
31. “Crazy Country
Hop” by The Johnny Otis Show
…It’s time to come back inside, because the party is really
getting out of control since that bunch of farmers crashed it. You don’t want
to miss the legendary Old MacDonald, who’s preoccupied with his cow,
Snaggle-toothed Malinda, who assaults some dude, or the skunk who clears the
room. Actually, none of that sounds very inviting, but it’s pretty hilarious. Now
that the room is cleared, the most committed partygoers can file back in,
because things are about to really take off.
30. “What’d I Say”
by Ray Charles
As wild as Rock & Roll was in its primitive days, there
were still some rules to follow, numero one being “keep it under three minutes.
Rules didn’t mean shit to Ray Charles, and for six-and-a-half minutes he
reminds us that what he says is the
only thing that matters. That riff! That sexy moaning! That crazy moment when
the whole song breaks down for twelve seconds! Six-and-a-half minutes well
spent.
29. “Manteca” by
Dizzy Gillespie
Jazz artists never had any compunction about keeping it
short, and Dizzy Gillespie and his band easily sprint past the seven minute
mark with their shouting, boot kicking, finger waving freak out. Dizzy’s
version from the 1957 Newport Jazz Festival is
a party.
28. “Bring It to
Jerome” by Bo Diddley
Bo is a benevolent king, and he steps aside to allow his
maraca-shaking sidekick Jerome Green to trumpet his own mighty attributes. Bo
and Jerome’s back and forth gives the song as much gravity as a rhythm that
threatens to pull the moon out of its orbit.
27. “Woo-Hoo” by
The Rock-A-Teens
With a name that sounds like it was made up by a clueless,
cigar-sucking record exec, The Rock-A-Teens shock with a song too wigged out to
be the product of anyone but a bunch of glue-huffing delinquents. They can’t
even form a proper phrase! Fuck, they can’t even form a proper word! They hoot, they scream, they cover
the walls in graffiti, they nearly burn the joint down. Fear these teens.
26. “Everyday” by
Buddy Holly
Alright, enough undisciplined jumping and shouting. It’s
time to find a partner and dance close. Don’t leave anyone out, not even that gawky
Melvin with the tie and chunky spex. Suddenly the shyest cornball in the room
starts looking like the dreamiest.
25. “A Night in
Tunisia” by Dizzy Gillespie
All at once, date palm trees sprout through the floor, which
has transformed into an endless expanse of sand. The fat moon hangs among a
splatter of stars overhead, and Dizzy Gillespie’s trumpet is fat as that moon.
Gilbert Valdez’s flute is the twinkling stars, and the heady rumble of
percussion the sandy Earth beneath. Get transported…
24. “Frenzy” by
Screamin’ Jay Hawkins
…then go fucking nuts. Screamin’ Jay Hawkins sprays saliva
from his gibbering jaws and blood from his latest victim to a sultry rhumba.
Rock & Roll goes full horror and an army of Monster Kids is born. See ya
later, history textbook… hellooooo, Famous
Monster of Filmland!
23. “I Only Have Eyes
for You” by The Flamingos
If you’ve had your fill of blood, you might want to try the
champagne. I know it isn’t your standard teen dance party fare, but this is not
your standard teen dance party number. Sophisticated, bubbly, and intoxicating,
The Flamingoes’ version of Harry Warren and Al Dubin’s standard is as romantic
and magical as Valentine’s Day on Venus.
22. “Who Do You Love?”
by Bo Diddley
As unromantic and horrifying as a Satanic rite, “Who Do You
Live” is another story. Bo Diddley makes love threatening by running down all
the ways he is crazy. Cobra snake necktie? Check. Rattlesnake-hide dwelling
with human-skull chimney? Check. Tombstone hand and graveyard mind? Check,
check, and huh? Don’t ask too many
questions, because Bo Diddley has clearly gone stark raving, and more
surprisingly, so has…
21. “Rave On” by
Buddy Holly
…that sweet, little bespectacled boy that had everyone
holding hands just five songs ago. This bash is really getting to everyone if
Buddy Holly has started raving. But he’s an egalitarian type and wants his girl
to join him in raving. Actually, that’s kind of sweet.
20. “Oh, Baby Doll”
by Chuck Berry
We’re in the home stretch now, children. Soon the sun is
going to come up, and pretty soon after that, all this carefree frolicking and
rollicking will be over. It will be time to for autumn leaves to fall, time to
head back to school. Will the romance that got going tonight survive that big
transition? Chuck Berry’s paranoia that he and his Baby Doll might not last
much longer informs a song intense in sentiment and beat. Hopefully for him the
rest of summer vacation won’t speed by as quickly as “Oh, Baby Doll”.
19. “The Girl Can’t
Help It” by Little Richard
All of the sudden the front doors explode off their hinges,
and when the debris settles, there stands Jayne Mansfield. She struts into the
room, and the men folk all go go go insane. One guy’s eyes pop out of his head
on foot-long stalks. Another starts beating himself over the head with his
shoe. One Michael Landon-looking dude sprouts hair, fangs, and a tail and
starts howling at the moon. And a cat so wild he makes wolf-boy look like Wally
Cleaver pounces on the piano and starts screaming like a maniac. Jayne just
smiles like she gets these reactions every day, because she probably does. The
girl just can’t help it.
18. “I Don’t Care If
the Sun Don’t Shine” by Elvis Presley
The joint is really hopping now, and one uncontainable star
bolts past Little Richard’s piano with his guitar and starts beating hell out
of the thing, rocking his hips in a seasick frenzy, and causing every chick in
the room to faint dead away. The prospect of kissing and kissing and kissing
some more is just too much for them. Those left standing bounce off the walls like
rubber balls.
17. “Mr. Blue” by
The Fleetwoods
Then the mood shifts again, and somehow that trio from
Nowheresville called The Fleetwoods manage to capture the audience as assuredly
as Elvis did. Their sound is just too enchanting to ignore. Everyone floats to
the ceiling…
16. “Blue Moon”
by Elvis Presley
…Then the roof floats right off the party shack and the
whole crowd continues ascending way, way up to that heavy moon hanging in the
sky. Elvis returns, and his voice echoes off the moon’s surface, filling the
air with ghostly wails. Everyone is chilled. Everyone is thrilled…
15. “It Doesn’t
Matter Anymore” by Buddy Holly
…Then they all slide back to Earth on a helter skelter of
Buddy Holly’s making. He and his gal are breaking up, but he cannot sound
happier about it. Dick Jacobs’s strings line up and dance.
14. “Little Queenie”
by Chuck Berry
Chuck Berry wants to dance too, but first he’s gotta get up
the nerve to ask that dolly by the juke to take a twirl. He must take a fistful
of uppers to stoke his courage because “Little Queenie” hauls ass like a souped
up ragtop.
13. “Portrait” by
The Charles Mingus Quintet with Jackie Paris
Winter breezes swirl at your feet. Snow drifts to the
ground. The Earth mellows, and Jackie Paris’s voice flows like maple syrup as
George Koutzen’s cello saws up and down. Phyllis Pinkerton’s piano glimmers as
that old master painter Mingus grounds everything with his bass. Poetry in
words and music.
12. “Tallahassee
Lassie” by Freddy Cannon
No poetry here, just raging hormones. Freddy Cannon goes
boom boom over that far-out chick with the hi-fi chassis from FLA. The
foundation quakes like a magnitude twelve just hit. I don’t think we’re getting
back our deposit on this place.
11. “Long Tall Sally”
by Little Richard
Is there anything left to destroy? Because if there is,
Little Richard is primed to finish it off. He’s going ape too, but he’s not
even cranked up about his own woman. Just seeing Long Tall Sally slipping down
the alley with Uncle John is enough to send him ranting and raving.
10. “Be-Bop-A-Lula”
by Gene Vincent & The Blue Caps
The tempo may have slowed, but emotions are still running
hot as Gene pays tribute to his very own baby doll. She’s so hot that his boys
can’t help but shriek their approval and shake the blue caps from their heads.
100% hot and 100% cool.
9. “The Train Kept
A-Rollin’” by Johnny Burnette
That’s it, Dad. Nothing is left standing. Not a splinter of
our old party shack. Johnny Burnette’s loco locomotive plows it all down. Then that
train keeps rolling all night long on a riff that doesn’t ever need to end… and
you can bet The Yardbirds, Led Zeppelin, and Aerosmith will make sure it never
does.
8. “Well… All Right”
by Buddy Holly
As the partygoers survey the wreckage, Buddy Holly pulls out
his acoustic and serenades the ravaged throng. It’s folk rock years before
Dylan or The Byrds. Buddy’s tough but simple strumming and crooning supplies
the folk. Jerry Allison rocks as he beats the hell out of the bell on his ride
cymbal. Those final four bangs may be Rock & Roll’s ultimate percussive
punctuation.
7. “How High the Moon”
by Les Paul & Mary Ford
Man, oh, man. This party will not end! Spirits take flight
again on the wings of Les Paul’s fluttering guitar and Mary Ford’s ecstatic
vocals. They fly all the way to the moon and explode in a dazzling fireworks
display.
6. “Get a Job” by
The Silhouettes
Well, it actually looks like the party might end for some of the guys. Enough kicks, buddies,
time to scan those want ads or there will be no love tonight. That situation
sounds like a real drag, but The Silhouettes don’t let it get them down. They
sound pretty overjoyed to me.
5. “Little Bitty
Pretty One” by Thurston Harris
That bliss must be catching, because now Thurston Harris has
caught it. He gets started with some restrained humming over a stomping, finger
popping beat, but he cannot keep it contained for long. Humming turns to whoa-ing
and everyone zooms to nirvana.
4. “(We’re Gonna)
Rock Around the Clock” by Bill Haley & The Comets
The sun finally starts to wink over the horizon. Does that
mean our cuckoo soiree is finished? Not even close. In fact, it has come full
circle with the song that got all this rocking and rolling started in the first
place. Some hipsters will try to tell you Bill and the Comets are strictly Squaresville.
Nuts to that. Their signature hit has an intensity, a hardworking determination
that makes me go bonkers. Danny Cedrone’s tear-ass guitar solo will shut up
each and every wet rag…
3. “Somethin’ Else”
by Eddie Cochran
…and if it doesn’t, then Eddie Cochran might just take your
skull and pound it on the pavement in time with “Somethin’ Else”. That riff is harder
than the hardest hardcore, meaner than Godzilla, scarier than the Creature from the Black Lagoon.
2. “Come Go with Me”
by The Del Vikings
OK, kitty cats, we had a real blast, I mean a real cookin’
time. But it’s finally time to split. You don’t have to go off alone though.
Maybe you can find a real boss gal or guy to see you home. No better way to get
the invitation across than a spin of this spine-shiverer from The Del Vikings.
Romantic in intent, crazy in execution, the guys scream like teenyboppers at an
Elvis show. Two minutes and forty two seconds of true blue romance.
1. “Keep a-Knockin’”
by Little Richard
That’s it. You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay
here. The expiration date on this shindig has arrived. Wait… what’s that?
Sounds like someone pounding against the door with a battering ram, but there’s
no door left! Some people can’t take “no” for an answer. Whoever is trying to
get into this petered-out party sure won’t, but Little Richard is gonna do all
he can to stop the intrusion. Those knocks come harder and faster, and Richard
gets more and more gone, barely able to catch his breath in the last verse. Screw
it. How can you end the party when the sounds are this hot? Let’s goose it back
up, Big Daddy! Let’s spin Psychobabble’s 100 Fifties Favorites all over again…
 |
| Click it! |
